Dear Mean Voice Inside My Head

I didn’t realize for a long time that you were as active a character in my brain as you are. You were much better then at throwing in a subtle negative comment only occasionally. But now you’ve moved to a new level. You are relentless about tossing in your opinion, which is always counterproductive, whenever you feel inclined, which is often.

I am letting you know right now that I am ready for you to hit the road, ship out, get out of my orbit, vamoose. You are annoying on a good day and a real pain in the ass on a bad one. You know how to take anything that’s good and toss in just the right amount of naysaying to sully the air. You can be a relentless jerk and I am surprised that I have the strength of character to proceed with anything given your proclivity for calling upon shame and fear to keep me firmly under your dominating and negative thumb.

I am not foolish enough to think that I can banish you forever. Even if you are gone, your memory will inhabit the corners of my brain, filling them with the faint odor of stink. But inspite of that truth, go on, get out, take your mean-spirited, ugly old self and find a dark hole to inhabit.

I, instead, will respond to kindness, truth, beauty and love.

Now, go on, unless you can change your colors and shift from black to violet. If that’s the case, then you can stay. I don’t have a need to hurt you even though you can’t say the same to me. Could you do that? Could you discard all that darkness and just enjoy the beauty of a green rolling meadow or a white zigzag of lightning against a dark sky? I have no need to spread the sorrow.

Come here, then, and let me hold you. You are born from pain, I know. Let’s not carry on this heartache anymore. We can coexist if you will let me love you.

I promise love is healing. Trust me and watch.



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